A few years ago some colleagues and I had the opportunity to be trained and coached by Rebecca Fanger, an exceptional leadership consultant who presented us with a very interesting way to represent the importance of empathy — the Trust Equation.
In their early 2000s book “The Trusted Advisor,” Professor David H. Maister and his co-authors “mathematically” represented what trust is, and what are the factors that affect our perception of the level of trust we have gained or place in others.
The formula broadens the concept of trust to “trustworthiness” and takes into account four key factors — credibility, reliability, intimacy, and self-orientation.
Credibility
It’s about your words.
How believable you are? How much do you think people believe in what you say you’re capable of doing?
It’s where most professionals and companies place their focus — on developing their technical expertise and the ability to deliver on what they promise. It is the most tangible factor and the easiest to be perceived among the four.
Educational and professional achievements do help, but always speaking the truth (no more or less), continually investing in your self-development and demonstrating your results and qualities (without being arrogant) are fundamental to continually increase the perception of credibility that others have about you.
Reliability
It’s about your actions.
How much do you think people feel comfortable relying on you? How much do you think they trust you to perform a particular job or task?
That’s where words and actions meet. Your reliability increases as you repeatedly and consistently deliver and even exceed what is expected of you at work and in your professional relationships.
Interviewers and business partners seek real references about job applicants and service providers with whom they have worked with, confirming their credentials and their ability to deliver the expected results.
Many people believe that being trustworthy has to do only with these first two factors. “He does what he says and says what he does.”
What we commonly call expertise, which can be translated as the set of knowledge, experiences and results delivered by a given individual, usually generates a perception of Credibility and Reliability. “I trust in someone’s ability to do a certain job.”
But that doesn’t mean we trust someone instinctively and unconditionally. There are intangible and emotional factors that contribute to the trust building.
“I could trust your expertise, but deeply distrust your motives. I could trust your brilliance, but I don’t like the way you deal with me.” David Maister
People tend to rely more on who they feel most comfortable discussing difficult issues, and who really cares about what they say and need.
Intimacy
It refers to the security that we feel in entrusting something to someone.
In this context intimacy has nothing to do with the private life of your contacts, but with feelings, desires, anxieties, and emotions related to work and the world around them. It can also be interpreted as affinity.
This connection on a personal level is the most emotional of the four factors, the more complex and the one that takes longer to develop. It is also the riskiest, considering that different people have different ways of reacting to approximation attempts. At the same time, it is the main factor of differentiation in the construction of your image in front of your contacts and customers.
Self-orientation
It refers to the person’s focus or motivations.
Perhaps lying is the only more effective way to destroy the trust of your contacts and customers than excessively focusing on yourself and your priorities.
Any sign of a greater concern for your own problems or interests than those manifested (or not) by your contacts will immediately reduce their perception of trust in you.
That doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. Value exchange is one of the main features of successful networking.
Long after being introduced to the Trust Equation, I realized that affinity and a sincere commitment to the success of others are nothing more than we now call empathy.
“Empathy: when someone, through their own speculations or sensations, puts themselves in the place of another person, trying to understand them.” Dicio
Do you agree that empathy is also important to achieving your personal and career goals? And what have you done to be more trustworthy? I would love to know your experiences and hear your comments and suggestions.