Psychologist Stanley Milgram and other American researchers published in 1967 the results of an experiment called “The Small World experiment”, also known as the small world problem.
The series of experiences consisted of asking a group of people residing in the U.S. state of Nebraska to send a letter to a certain unknown person in the city of Boston, forwarding it only through known persons who they believed were more likely to know the recipient.
They concluded that from the universe of people surveyed and the letters that reached the final recipient, there were between 2 and 10 people apart the Nebraska group from the recipient in Boston. Although they never used this term, it became common to use the average — six degrees of separation— to refer to the experiment.
Taking advantage of an infinitely larger and more relevant sample, Facebook did its own analysis among its more than 1.5 billion users in February 2016, coming to an even more surprising conclusion — we’re separated, on average, by just 3.5 people.
But if access to technology allows many to become so connected to the world and people around, why some of us can win that dream job or expand our businesses more easily than others?
I was even more intrigued when a friend recently told me what he heard in a course about how to “work your network better” — “it is not WHAT you know, it is WHO you know”.
But imagine for a moment that a lot more people are interested in that dream job or that business opportunity you crave so much. If all competitors use their networks to influence decision makers in their favor, how can you differentiate the best candidates or offers?
Indiscriminate distribution of résumés, business cards, and connection invitations on LinkedIn can help you access relevant contacts, but it doesn’t guarantee the referrals and recommendations you need. This explains why “doing” traditional networking is no longer enough.
What I learned after almost 20 years dedicated to sales functions, strategic account management and business development, is that in addition to accessing we need to deepen relationships and create value for our contacts:
Networking is a habit
Cultivating your personal and professional relationships requires consistency. This is a marathon and not a 100-meter race. There is no sense in spreading résumés all over your contact list, adding as many connections as possible on LinkedIn, and liking and commenting on posts by people you consider to be influential, only when you’re unemployed or need to develop or close that big deal.
Networking is exchange
You can’t keep counting the favors you do or people do for you — networking is first and foremost an act of generosity where you do something or create value for someone without any expectation of immediate return. Eventually this can turn into value back to you.
Networking is trust
Your words, actions, emotions, and motivations have the power to build or destroy the trust your contacts place in you. Saying only what you’ve done (no more or less), doing what you said (doing what you promised), respecting feelings (connecting on a more personal level), and truly being committed to the well-being and success of your contacts (and not just your own) are key to nurturing your network’s trust in you.
Making networking a generous habit of creating value for your contacts, through appropriate words, actions, and behaviors, will surely differentiate the perception of trust that others have about you, facilitating referrals and creating career and business opportunities.
And you, what have you done to nurture your network of contacts frequently, building trust and adding value? I would love to know your experiences and hear your suggestions.
Originally published as LinkedIn article on 05/16/2020.